A MONDAY MORNING SLAP IN THE FACE!

On Monday I promised I'd write about the "slap in the face" God gave me during my time with him Monday morning...then the week got away from me. So, here we are...Thursday and I'm finally getting around to it. Just warning you...I'm about to really open up & be real...

I always start my time off with God by journaling whatever is on my mind...to clear my head in preparation to be in the word. Sometimes, God speaks to me then and the stuff I had planned on studying gets thrown out the window. On Monday I was writing about how I'm so tired of change...we've gone from no kids and working in "corporate America" to 2 kids and BOTH of us working in full time ministry in just 2 years...yes we have more flexibility in our daily schedule, but it's been a huge change for us in many other ways (financially, mentally, emotionally, etc.). I was writing about how God has a plan for our family & how I know he knows whats best for us, but I want to feel normal. I'm sick of change every few months. I've gotten to where I'm always wondering "what's next," instead of enjoying our time where God has us. That's when he slapped me in the face. I came across Proverbs 3:5-6 (which I could say to you in my sleep because we spent the whole summer of 2005 teaching about it) when I was digging for scripture on trust & praising God through different seasons of life. The verse says "Trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart, LEAN NOT on your OWN UNDERSTANDING, in all your ways acknowledge him and HE will DIRECT your PATH." That's when he slapped me, "Magan, it's not about you...it's not about what YOU want or what YOU understand. It's about ME and living your life for MY GLORY. I gave my ONLY SON for YOU." I was then reminded that at 3:00 Monday morning when Benjamin could not get comfortable and would not sleep and I was complaining, Matt rolled over and said to me "Magan, this is just a season...it won't last long. He'll be sleeping through the night soon." It's just a season...it won't last long...

WOW, put both of those thoughts together (God's slap in my face & Matt's wisdom at 3 am) and I was a ball of mess. I started digging harder for scripture and God gave me much more encouragement for my weary, but selfish heart... Psalm 33:21 says "For our heart is GLAD, because we TRUST in His HOLY name." GLAD because I TRUST in HIS HOLY NAME....He also gave me Ephesians 2:1-10 and Romans 5:8 to dwell on. After reading all of this, I had to ask myself,"Am I glad because the God of the universe (Heb. 1:1-4) has a plan for selfish me? Am I soaking in this season of my life?" Ben & Laney won't always be little and I'm missing out, we won't always be "broke" and if we are...who cares? (Let me revise this part of my post...my friend Robin reminded me that I shouldn't use the word "broke." I am not "broke," I am immensely RICH. God had given me many blessings, far beyond what I deserve. I have the best husband in the world, 2 amazing, healthy kids, lots of great friends, an awesome extended family, a job that I don't even consider a job because I get to help people follow Jesus, and so many other things that I could list off...thanks Robin!) It's not about ME, it's about HIM. I must stop wanting something different and enjoy this season and glorify him, be GLAD because he chose this time and this life for me. I've got stop complaining about what keeps changing and make sure I am living a life that is glorifying to the God who gave his ONLY son so I could live...

What a way to start my week! He's given me little nuggets all week to be reminded of how much he cares for me and for my family. I'm working on me. I've got to stop complaining and start living a life that truly is glorifying to God in all areas...not just the ones I choose!