4.06.2016

Good Shepherd

I was really unsure about writing this post. In fact, I waited a few days to be sure it was the right thing to do. I am usually a pretty open book, but sharing our struggles isn't always pretty. However, I do know that the Lord can use my story to help someone. I've talked to many friends recently that have shared their story, and it has helped me so here we go...

I was recently sitting on my back deck, soaking in the sun and enjoying a quiet moment to myself while listening to Amanda Cook's station on Spotify. I was planning to sit and journal a little, but was intrigued by the lyrics of her song "Shepherd." As I sat and listened to the song, it was like God was speaking directly to me. Every lyric describes exactly how I feel about my current season of life.

Without typing out my life story, I've had a recent bout with anxiety. I've always been a pretty high strung person, but I've never experienced anxiety the way I have the past few months. I'm not 100% sure if I'm where I am because of a reaction to a medicine that my doctor gave me, or if I really do struggle with an anxiety disorder. Nevertheless, I am where I am, and I know that God's going to see me through.

"Shepherd" 

In the process
In the waiting
You're making melodies over me
And your presence
is the promise
For I am a pilgrim on a journey

You will lift my head above the mighty waves
You are able to keep me from stumbling
And in my weakness
you are the strength that comes from within
Good shepherd of my soul
Take my hand and lead me on

You make my footsteps and my path secure
So walking on water is just the beginning
Cause my faith to arise, stand at attention
For You are calling me to greater things

Oh
how I love You
how I love You
You have not forsaken me
Oh
How I love You
how I love You
With you is where I want to be

It's been a while since I've felt like I was in a hard season of life. There are days I hear clearly from God that He's got this, and there are other days that I don't hear or feel Him, but I know He's still holding me. This journey has taught me many things, and I've just recently been able to find joy and thank the Lord for what He is teaching me. I've memorized a lot of Scripture. I've learned what it looks like to surrender my life to the Lord on a daily basis  (sometimes several times in one day),  I've learned to literally take my days one minute at a time, I've learned to slow down and to listen, and I've learned that God really does give us exactly what we need for each day. 

My overflow is pretty much nonexistent right now. I don't have a lot of extra to give away, but as the days progress I feel as if He is teaching more and more about His goodness. He's teaching me more and more about the person He's called me to be, and I am confident that soon my overflow will be plenty. I look forward to that day. I look forward to being able to be myself again and to love people and serve people like I know I've been created to do. 

One of my favorite verses that I've read recently is Hebrews 10:23 and it says "Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise." I know that He promises to never leave or forsake me. I also know that I will never fully understand His love for me. 

His promises get us through the stormy seasons. He loves us and is ALWAYS with us. Our hope in Him gives us peace and strength to get through each day whether it's a stormy season or not. He is THE good Shepherd. 

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