I was recently sitting on my back deck, soaking in the sun and enjoying a quiet moment to myself while listening to Amanda Cook's station on Spotify. I was planning to sit and journal a little, but was intrigued by the lyrics of her song "Shepherd." As I sat and listened to the song, it was like God was speaking directly to me. Every lyric describes exactly how I feel about my current season of life.
Without typing out my life story, I've had a recent bout with anxiety. I've always been a pretty high strung person, but I've never experienced anxiety the way I have the past few months. I'm not 100% sure if I'm where I am because of a reaction to a medicine that my doctor gave me, or if I really do struggle with an anxiety disorder. Nevertheless, I am where I am, and I know that God's going to see me through.
It's been a while since I've felt like I was in a hard season of life. There are days I hear clearly from God that He's got this, and there are other days that I don't hear or feel Him, but I know He's still holding me. This journey has taught me many things, and I've just recently been able to find joy and thank the Lord for what He is teaching me. I've memorized a lot of Scripture. I've learned what it looks like to surrender my life to the Lord on a daily basis (sometimes several times in one day), I've learned to literally take my days one minute at a time, I've learned to slow down and to listen, and I've learned that God really does give us exactly what we need for each day.
My overflow is pretty much nonexistent right now. I don't have a lot of extra to give away, but as the days progress I feel as if He is teaching more and more about His goodness. He's teaching me more and more about the person He's called me to be, and I am confident that soon my overflow will be plenty. I look forward to that day. I look forward to being able to be myself again and to love people and serve people like I know I've been created to do.
One of my favorite verses that I've read recently is Hebrews 10:23 and it says "Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep His promise." I know that He promises to never leave or forsake me. I also know that I will never fully understand His love for me.
His promises get us through the stormy seasons. He loves us and is ALWAYS with us. Our hope in Him gives us peace and strength to get through each day whether it's a stormy season or not. He is THE good Shepherd.